Sunday, June 7, 2015

Life after the NICU and getting ready to move...

Let's see....since my last post was well over a year ago,  I suppose I should bring things up to speed a bit....


We did, in fact, have that 4th baby...although he isn't ALWAYS happy, he usually is, so for the purpose of this blog, we'll call him Happy Chick.  I could have called him Crazy Chick, or Busy Chick II really, because he is just.like.Busy.  He looks like Busy, acts like Busy....loves the things Busy loves....it's insane.  So...quickly...Happy Chick came 5 weeks early, was very very sick, hitched a ride to a higher level NICU in a helicopter, and kept us on our toes misbehaving in the NICU for the next 6 1/2 weeks.  In short, if you don't know me and want to google his issues, he had bilateral pleural effusions, hydrops, was born in heart and lung failure, was placed on ECMO for 10 days, and lived to tell about it.  Since this blog is more "comic relief" if you will, and that experience is more than a year in the dust, I'm just not going to go there.  If you are REALLY longing for a play by play, message me and beg, and maybe I'll give ya one.


So, fast forward about 15 months to when Happy Chick blessed us with his presence, and here we are!  Since we like to keep ourselves super busy and borderline in a state of nervous breakdowns, we've decided to move...to a different state...in less than 30 days.  BRING IT ON.  The Rooster took a job last year that ended up being less than ideal, in an undesirable location, and had him gone 5+ days a week, so obviously, he missed his crazy brood and we made a change. He is already working to the state that we are moving to, our farm is under contract, and our actual chickens (not the kid ones) are staying here...we've put a contract on a house down there and will be moving to the new house around the middle of July.

A few updates, now that we're all accounted for and up to speed....Brainy Chick has totally excelled in first grade, and according to him, everyone in his class thinks he's the smartest kid and always asks him for answers.   He's clearly very humble about his Brain!

Busy Chick conquered kindergarten and is counting down the days to the end of school and his 6th birthday.

Chickette is a sassy little mess...she's honestly like a sour gummy on the commercial...first she's sour then she's sweet!  She'll yell at me and tell me she doesn't love me, and then follow it up with "I only love you, I don't like you"....She absolutely hates bugs, and will completely lose her mind if one lands on or near her.

Happy Chick is usually a happy guy, but man is that kid strong willed!  He will bang his head on the floor when he doesn't get his way...I can't stand it.  He walks and runs, tastes everything he can get into his mouth whether it's food or not, and LOVES dogs.  He and Marley like to make out...the way Happy Chick greets our dog, and others, is by waddling over to them and opening his mouth, to allow them to lick inside it.  Pretty gross if you ask me...

The boys both played soccer this spring...here's how that went...the Rooster told Brainy Chick to be more aggressive...so I had noticed that at one game in particular he was "throwing a lot of bows" if you know what I mean....he had already done it a few times, and for this particular game, Brainy and Busy were on separate teams for the scrimmage....Brainy gets in there and starts spinning in circles elbowing everyone in sight, meanwhile, I'm screaming at him from the sidelines to stop it, and giving Rooster the stink eye, because obviously, this is all his fault.  Finally, Busy and another kid get sick of it and start hitting Brainy, who responds by hitting back!  Now, there's a full on punching and slapping fight in the middle of the soccer field involving 3 kids, 2 of whom belong to me!  Lovely!  The Rooster went out there and brought Brainy back with him, who after another try, and another round of throwing elbows at everyone, ended up spending the remainder of the game on the sideline.  My heart swelled with pride, since I obviously had done my part as a mother in teaching my sons good sportsmanship......or maybe I just grabbed Chickette and Happy and headed straight for the car!

Until next time....

Mama Hen

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Furniture shopping with 3 kids...and why it's a bad idea....

 Most sensible people probably know better than to do this...I am one of them.  The Rooster, however, would rather "deal with them than pay a sitter"....a few more outings like today and he just may change his tune!

We are in search of a sofa.  Our current sofa sectional is AWFUL.  The Chicks have jumped on it, broken the frame, and beat it to absolute crap.  It's uncomfortable, the dog ate the cushions, so there is literally towels and duct tape holding them together...it's been a good run...well, not really...it's been a run, and it's time we parted ways with our current seating arrangement.

I went shopping for an entire day with just Chickette, and then again alone, and thought I had some decent options narrowed down.  Showed The Rooster, and he wasn't "feeling" it, if you get my drift.  So today, we decided to go furniture shopping, with 3 kids, ages 2, 4, and 5.  The first stop we made was to LaZBoy.  They were ok, but the sales lady was a tad passive aggressive with the kids...and not really all that helpful at all.  Of course, when in a store full of recliners, the Chicks are going to figure out that they can pop them right up....so they eventually do this...and the not so kid friendly sales lady says "oh, can I show you how to put them back down"....all the while, I'm asking her does this particular sectional come w/out a recliner...for OBVIOUS reasons...see what I mean, they'll tear it up the first day, they'll open and close it all day long, and will probably lose a finger in the process.  Wanna see???  So, we move on from this store, to Crate and Barrel...we walk in, after finding out the hard way in the parking garage that the back up beepers on my back up system are no longer beeping.  I was pretty sure they weren't, because not so long ago at a friends house I backed right into a tree..but then I started second guessing myself b/c of all the kids and noise in the car...thought maybe it had beeped and I hadn't heard it...blah blah blah...wonder if they'll cover the damage caused from the stupid beepers not beeping!  Seems like they should!  Anyways...we go in, the kids find a sofa immediately to try out, and Busy Chick pushes Chickette (maybe on purpose maybe not) off the sofa and she hits her head on the coffee table...and screams at the top of her lungs, and then bears a purple knot on her head for the rest of the day.  AWESOME.  We're the Clampits, we'd love to shop in your store....

To make a long story short, we didn't buy a sofa, but have narrowed down more of what we're looking for.....and so the fun continues.

Until next time...

Mama Hen...

It's been a VERY busy 7 months....seriously....

The best laid plans oft go awry......like me blogging...or me having a plan for anything....so let me bring you up to speed a bit.....

A long long time ago, back when we were silly, and thought having kids would be easy, and didn't even have one child yet, the Rooster and I told people we wanted 3 or 4 kids...We had NO IDEA what it was like to be pregnant and sleep deprived over and over again....so...fast forward about 5 years...we had just recently (by recently I mean 6-8 months prior) had Chickette, and discussed whether or not to have a 4th child...we thought about trying for a little while, and didn't prevent for a long while, and several months went by, Chickette was nearing her 2nd birthday, and I think we both were seeing that light at the end of the tunnel of babydome...you know the one....the one where you might be a year away from no baby bed, no diapers, and even no naps!  Can you imagine what this is like!  And since we're really silly people, we began to even consider taking the 3 chicks to Disney.....but...as I said...things don't always go as planned...

A friend of mine said something, and it made me think about something else, and then that led me to remember that it had been a while since I had last had any proof, if you will, that I wasn't pregnant...so I decided to take a test....and this is, I kid you not, what I said to the Rooster when I got the result....showing him said evidence..."Houston, we have a problem"....after a little back and forth, some head shaking, some " I thought we were done with this", "how did this happen" and "are you pranking me?"  He finally decided to believe me that we were in fact expecting our 4th baby!  We found out the news of this little surprise about 2 days before Chickette's 2nd birthday...so...here we go again.  Since her 2nd birthday was in August, I am now 29 weeks pregnant with a 3rd BOY!  Can you believe that??  Thought maybe this was my big chance to even things up around here since we already have 2 boys, but evidently the big guy in the sky thought it would be funnier for me to hear things like PENIS PENIS PENIS every day from now until eternity and gifted us with another boy!  Don't get me wrong, I love my sons, and all the boy-ness that they entail, but sometimes pink, dresses, and bows are nice too....

So...to update on the Chicks and how and what they've been up to the past half year while I've been incubating the next chick...

Brainy Chick started Kindergarten in September.  He claims he doesn't like it, and that he's bored, but I think he hates to write, and would rather be doing math and science..and translates I don't like writing and learning to read, into boredom.  Aside from his constant complaints, his teacher says he's doing great, and is nice to the other kids, stands up for someone when needed, etc...which really is all a parent can ask for!  He LIVES to torture Busy Chick, throws elbows, punches, and tries to wrestle the poor kid every chance he gets.  Busy is a lover and not a fighter, so this ALWAYS ends in a screeching fit of crying and two syllable "moooo-oooms".  He says he's excited about the new chick coming, but when we first told him that we were expecting a new chick, his initial response was "why".....All I could think to say was " I don't know"...take that for being prepared!  My other favorite question lately has been "hey mama, how'd baby chick get in there anyways"....again..."i dunno..."  followed by " I think God did it".....didn't seem right to explain the birds and the bees to my 5 year old...no matter how brainy he may be! 

Busy Chick is still very busy!  He's doing great in preschool, and is excited to go to Kindergarten next year.  He's also excited to be getting a baby chick in the family...although I think if he could pick, he might choose another dog...that kid LOVES our dogs....like lets them lick all over his face and inside his mouth LOVES the dogs.  He's still a total twerp a lot of the time, but he is the sweetest kid as well.  Every night at bedtime, when Chickette goes to bed, he says " I want to give her a hug"...and they hug, and it melts my heart, and then I'm not so scared to be having just one more...until they fight...then I'm terrified again.  He's getting a little easier to deal with, most days...unless you piss him off.  Let's just call it like we see it!  He still thinks Brainy Chick hung the moon...which is pretty cute, and no matter how many times Chickette pinches or hits him, he will not hit her back...even when we give permission to strike back.  He is TOTALLY obsessed with Star Wars...I'm not talking about he just likes it...I'm talking he wakes up and goes to bed at night humming the theme song.  He asked Santa for  a Darth Maul costume for Christmas, and puts it on at least once a day.  That's the baddest of the bad guys in case you aren't familiar.  When your son gets obsessed with Star Wars you'll learn all their names too, because he will talk about them non stop....every day, all day..and even your 2 year old daughter will know who "woda and dart maw" are.

Chickette is almost 2.5.  She started a one day a week preschool class in the fall.  The first few drop offs she was a little teary, but never did actually cry.  Now, when I tell her the next day is a school day she says "YAY, I play babies"...she loves to play babies.  She got a baby doll high chair for Christmas and a Rub a Dub baby as well, that she bathes almost every day. Probably the cleanest baby doll in America.  She's gotten to the point where she wants to go everywhere with her brothers, and is so sad if she's not invited on a boy excursion.  She gets her feelings hurt...which is kind if a newer thing for us.  Not that the boys never did, but she gets very sad if she gets in trouble, it's just totally different!  She loves dressing up, loves wearing dresses, but hates hair bows, and having her hair pulled back.  Chickette has an unusually large amount of hair for a blonde headed 2 year old...if you ask me!  She loves babies, but is really mean to younger kids.  Not too sure how this is all going to play out once her new brother comes...hopefully she's sweet to him.  We can generally play well with friends above 2, but it's the 1-2 range that she seems to have an issue with.    Wish us luck with that little adventure.  I'm pretty sure that she thinks I'm birthing her a real live baby doll...so that should be fun!

We'll call the new chick to be the Baby Chick for now...until he has a personality.  He kicks a lot, and has caused all kinds of unexpected hell on my body that the other 3 combined never did...this is what happens when you have 4 babies in 6 years...your body gets to a certain point where it says "listen lady...enough is enough"....so in case you are wondering, this is our LAST baby.  Permanent measures are being taken...and that's all you need to know! 

I hope you're feeling entertained....stay tuned...it only gets better :)

Mama Hen

Thursday, June 20, 2013

My week...in summary

I meant to write a post or two last week, but the boys had VBS, and then then Busy Chick turned 4 and had a party, and then the boys grandparents came and whisked them away to a far away place for 4 nights...and I.am.in.heaven....but before I tell you all what heaven is like...I'll sum up last week....

-VBS 5 days in a row...and I am the opposite of on time...always...have been my entire life....poor little Brainy Chick would LOVE to be on time all the time, and well....it's just never going to happen.  He actually considers it a treat, if you will, when we are on time...that's how rarely it happens!  So....back to VBS...we are pretty much late to VBS 4 of the 5 days...but never fear...since I'm always late, I'm quite ok with it!

-day 2 of VBS Brainy Chick and Busy Chick are actually ready, and almost on time...and then Chickette climbs up into the learning tower...and I'm out of the room, and hear a loud sound....so I ask the boys what it was...and they both say " Chickette fell out of the learning tower"....now...for those of you that are unfamiliar with learning towers, the lowest point of a learning tower is at least 18 inches off the ground....and she fell out of it somewhere...and then she held her breath, ran to me, and right before she got there, she fainted...out.cold....did I call 911?  NO...why you ask....well, I've been schooled in kids that faint by Busy Chick...he does this too....so I actually knew that she probably would faint...she came too, I gave her a minute, and we loaded up for VBS...late.again.....

-days 3, 4, and 5 of VBS go off w/out a hitch....

-day 5 of VBS we have 2 friends over after VBS to help their mama and I, rather ambitiously, decide to take them to the local farm...I give them my warning of "go to the potty now b/c I am NOT going in the portojohn with you...NOT NOT NOT"....all 4 kids in underpants say they are fine...we go play, and Busy Chick decides he needs to pee...being the class act I am, I found him a lovely looking tree....then Brainy Chick decides he needs to pee....and we find another tree....then our little friend, who is NOT a boy, decides SHE needs to pee....and since I am ill equipped in how to help a little girl pee in the woods, I sent her to the portojohn...ALONE....because they were all warned that I was NOT NOT NOT going in there..and I mean what I say!

-Birthday party day for Busy Chick...he is in FULL on gimme gimme gimme mode...he had his party at the farm...they have a little cow train at this farm...we are all getting ready to go on it, and one of our friends realizes she has lost her 3 year old...SEE...this stuff doesn't just happen to me!  All of the party except the missing kid go on the cow train....when we find him he goes on it too!

-night time at our house lately is a TOTAL show...I actually HATE bedtime because all I want is for Brainy and Busy Chick to get in their beds, be quiet, and go to sleep....I do not want them to ask for a snack, I do not want them to tell me what they are scared of, and I do not appreciate it at all when they come out of their room together, after being in there for less than 3 minutes, and tell me about a really bad dream they have had....so....Busy Chick had decided earlier in the week that the ONLY thing that was going to help him fall asleep was his brothers stuffed animal called Foosa...well, we only have one of those, so after trying everything else, I give in and reason with Brainy Chick to give Busy Chick his Foosa...because let's face it, we all want him to go the f*%k to sleep....RIGHT??  So we get through that night, and I'm an idiot, so I truck to not 1, not 2, but 3 different stores the next day in search of Foosa...find the thing...only to have Busy Chick tell me that night, in hysterics, that he NEEDED an alligator...well...guess what...we don't own one...and we can't just go buy things that Brainy Chick demands every single night can we....so since then...we have had 2 crying hysterics over an alligator...that we still do not have.....
 

This week the boy chicks are visiting their granparents for 4 days...and my next post will be all about how foolish I was when I just had one child and thought I was busy!  Until then....

Mama Hen....

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

the story of my actual chickens...

We are not farmers.  Not good ones anyways.  Back in March, The Rooster finished up our chicken coop, and we got 12 pullets and installed them into the coop.  In case you are not familiar with the world of chickening, a pullet is a chicken that is not a baby, but isn't laying just yet...around 16 weeks of age.  We decided on pullets because while yes, baby chicks are cute, for about 2 weeks, I have a baby child, and a baby boxer in my house, and combining such things with Busy Chick is certain to end in the demise of baby chicks...so we picked chickens that could just go straight outside.  Anyways...back to the birds....we got 12.  One night we didn't get out there quite early enough to lock them all in, I think it had been raining, and they wandered around too late....and then there were 11...same thing happened a few weeks later...we had a sitter for the children Chicks, and the bird chicks were still out eating worms in the yard, so we left them out...went to put them up that night...and then there were 10.  Last week I was playing in the yard with the children Chicks (this gets hard when I talk about my kids and the actual birds all in one post, but try to keep up) in the yard and I saw a large SUV slow to a stop in front of our house...and then reverse to the driveway and pull in.  I was actually expecting her to fuss at me for my birds being near the road..but she was kindly coming to tell me that she had just hit a chicken, and she was so sorry....I of course assured her that it wasn't her fault...and my next call, after telling The Rooster that then there were 9, was to the general store to order 3 more chickens...and now there are 12 again.  We had been cooping them since the tragic not making it across the road event last week, but in a coop is really no way to live when you have so much room to roam on, so The Rooster and I have decided to let the girls out of the coop, and we realize that by doing this, we may see our numbers dwindle again, but that they will at least be happier chickens for us doing it.  They will also eat less feed, b/c they are roaming around getting feed like they are made to do, and they will make less poop in the coop for The Rooster to clean up, b/c they will be out in the yard pooping there...so...win.win...happy chickens, happy The Rooster = Happy Mama Hen!

Here's hoping that we don't have any chickens crossing the road, and that the foxes are well enough fed at this point to leave these girls alone! 

I forgot to mention that Marley the Boxer has gotten after them a few times but so far hasn't taken anyone down....yet.  I can't tell if she can not catch one, or if she just enjoys the thrill of the chase. I'm sure at some point Busy Chick, Brainy Chick, or Chickette will accidentally release her into the yard when the chickens are out and we will get to see again if she can or can't catch a bird!

Now you know the story of my actual chickens....if you're wondering why we have them, it's for the fresh eggs...you simply cannot beat a farm fresh egg and we even took it up a notch and these ladies are non-soy, non-gmo fed chickens...so we get fancy eggs!

Any questions??

Mama Hen

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Stuff my Chicks Say...

People, trust me, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!

-at the allergists office with all 3 chicks...I was getting allergy tested, and had to take of my shirt and bra to put on one of those open back napkin thingys....Brainy and Busy in unison "Mama Hen, we can see your boooobies"....thank you boys....

-getting out of the pool for swim lessons I am quickly drying the kids off and hustling them to the restroom where we go to get dressed, and Brainy Chick announces "man, I peed in that pool a LOT today".....

-Brainy Chick was digging pretty good in his nose one night not too long ago and I told him to please stop letting me see him pick his nose....he replied by informing me that he picks his boogers AND eats them all the time when he's in his bed.....

-playing in the yard one day last week for some reason Busy Chick and I were, yet again, discussing whether or not girls have a penis.  Busy Chick looks at me and says "Mama Hen, I know you have a penis because I've seen you pee in the bathroom before and you can't pee if you don't have a penis"...I haven't bothered to take the time to explain to him what my special area is called because I do not care to hear the word VAGINA said loudly and often throughout my day...


If your chicks say funny things too, I'd love to hear them...surely I'm not the only parent whose very loud children make me blush on a daily basis!

Mama Hen

Friday, June 7, 2013

grocery store...with 3 kids...


You can tell by the post that what is about to transcend was nothing but bad ideas all around.  Let me confirm for you that taking 3 children to the grocery store, AT NOON, was a HORRIBLE and terribly STUPID idea...please learn from my mistakes!  

Preschool has been out since last week, and since I, Mama Hen, often think I am SuperMom, I didn't think about how and when I would grocery shop this week with all of my sweet, quiet, and obedient Chicks in tow....So, here were were on a Friday morning, with an end of season T-ball party being held at our house on Saturday, and we were also almost out of milk...an upcoming cook-out and no milk can only mean one thing...I was due for a trip to the grocery store.  The two older Chicks had gymnastics AND swimming, so after running them ragged for 90 minutes and getting them good and hungry, I offered them cake pops as a shopping treat...you know....load the starving children up for sugar is definitely the key to great behavior...NOT!  Anyways...as we are going aisle by miserable aisle, Busy Chick is grabbing every single thing he can get his little 4 year old fingers on, telling me he is REALLY hungry for that thing (for example, croutons) and it's his FAVORITE thing...so no, after no, after no, we are on our merry way to the middle of the store...at this point, we've probably been in the store for a solid 15 minutes and Chickette has decided that the huge double seating car cart is no longer suiting her needs, and has begun to stand up and attempt to exit it...while Brainy Chick is talking non-stop about something, and Busy Chick is grabbing eggs off the shelves for me to hard boil...I took a quick moment to explain to him that since we have chickens we do not BUY eggs anymore, asked Brainy Chick to be quiet for a few minutes, and then offered Chickette the choice of sitting in the car seat buckled or unbuckled...her very loud "NO" assured me that buckled was the way to go...and for the next 30 minutes of our shopping experience, she could be heard throughout the entire store.  Yep, that's us...we spread joy and sunshine to everyone we meet!  Or maybe just laughs, "i've been there and done that smiles of sympathy", and possibly even an unknowing touch of birth control to some silly love struck teenagers that were thinking of making some bad choices tonight....to their parents...you're welcome!  

We did survive this trip, and I do NOT intend to take these 3 Chicks shopping with me ever again...until we are out of milk!

Mama Hen